Why are you as you are?

Crumbs flew out Matt's mouth as he threw those words in my direction. Chewing the sandwich which had occupied my lunchbox a couple minutes earlier, the self described "professional roamer" peered at me with weary eyes.

As I handed him a bottled water, true to my form, his question was countered with a question of my own. "Why are you in your situation?"

That seemed to take him back. After a moment's hesitation, Matt launched into a story of alcohol, infidelity, and abuse. His face took on a little color as he spoke of his love/hate affair with the bottle, how it slowly destroyed his family life and resulted in the situation he currently is in.

My mind shamelessly wondered if he understood the effect he had on his family the years he struggled with his demons. As the last of the story of his "true love" faded out, Matt's eyes had become a bit red. Maybe it was from his previous "meal", maybe from finally setting a little of himself free.

He sat a little straighter as he firmly stated that how he lived was his own choice. I asked him just one question, if he ".. was happy as things are?" Straight into my eyes, he said, "Yes". I may never quite understand his logic, but it's not my place too.

The urge to request a 'kick pic hung at the edge of my tongue. I refused to let it fall. The man had obviously been through a lot, and deserved just as much respect as the next person. Who was I to impose a possible belittling request just for a blog post?

Walking back to the office, I felt oddly full.

Every once in awhile it's a good thing to indulge in a different food for thought. The growth spawned from such may bud to surprising blossoms of their own.

Lurk
+ The Institute for Human Services